It’s amazing to think that Halloween is only one week away. Signs advertising ‘trunk or treating’ pepper the roadside like lemonade stands under shade trees on a hot summer day. A new concept to me, there wasn’t such a thing as ‘trunk or treating’ when I grew up – it was don your most creative costume and politely head out with a plastic bag to see what goodies awaited you at each doorstep. I remember the first time I went trick or treating. I was Yogi the Bear with a plastic, store purchased mask and my sister was a Witch with highly teased hair. I was 3 years old and I don’t think we were even twenty feet out the door when my dad turned us around and headed back into the house. ‘One stepped in dog **** and the other puked in her mask’ he said. Next year you’re taking them!’ My mom was standing there with the candy bowl trying in her best style not to laugh. We had fun anyway, got washed up and like little troopers went back out to try it again. The lure of candy had us hooked.

I was reminded of this child-like excitement once again this week as I picked up a few supplies for a friend who was feeling under the weather. The cashier asked me what I was going to be for Halloween. ‘Excuse me?’ I asked. ‘I just love Halloween’ she gushed. ‘I start planning my costume months in advance – I’m going to be a zombie this year. What are you going to be?’

‘I hadn’t given it much thought’ I replied as I placed a red-horned, furry, devil headband onto the belt. I figured I’d throw it in for good measure to make my friend laugh. ‘Maybe I’ll be a Carrot Dangler’ I replied. She gave me an odd look and rang up the total.‘ That will be $12.71. Good luck with your costume!’

It was a toss-up. I played with the devil fur-trimmed horns and contemplated being ‘the daughter of the devil himself as well as an angel in white’ or an honest to goodness, down to earth Carrot Dangler. My past costumes for Halloween have been varied and vast. I started out with Yogi the Bear but worked my way into a ghost, a Hershey bar, a painter (with many varied brushes in my bucket), Laura Ingalls, the classic witch, the energizer bunny (battery and drum complete – kids don’t try this at home – you will never fit thru a door), a mime who looked more like a member of the rock-band Kiss, what else… oh yes, a Robert Palmer girl complete with mini skirt, slick hair, red lips and guitar.

I’m sure there were many more that I don’t remember but I do remember this:

I have never been a Carrot Dangler.

A Carrot Dangler shouldn’t be confused with a Horse Wrangler. There is a difference. Horse Wranglers actually lead and lasso their subject and bring them in from time to time. Some even whisper to their subject. Carrot Danglers merely carry a bag of carrots and dangle them the entire way. Just. Out. Of. Reach.

Just.

An easy costume to put together. One bag of carrots, maybe two. A long stick, some string or duck tape, and a little creativity.

And that’s all folks. Nothing to it – although it takes a little time to make such a costume which to me is the puzzling part. What motivates one to invest the time? I’m appreciative of the time others spend on being creative, but why do they do it? Is it for fun? Is it for a greater cause? Are they in love with the holiday? Are they more interested in the thrill? Are they trying to scare their neighbors?....

I wish I could say that Halloween put the excitement into me like it did for the cashier at the dollar store. I wonder what fulfillment she receives from her efforts or if she is just a kid at heart. What motivates one to continue year after year creating the ultimate (if not perfect) costume?

We are taught from a young age that if we play by the rules we will be rewarded for good behavior. I chose or created my costume, I put it on with care, walked up to the door and rang the bell. I politely said ‘trick or treat’. Nine out of ten times I was rewarded with candy. There was only one time that I was not. The house was there, the porch light was on, the neighborhood lady was in the kitchen doing dishes and when I rang her doorbell she ducked below the kitchen window. I kid you not. She hid. Her pumpkin was lit and she never came to the door. I will never forget it. Did I trick her because she wouldn’t treat? No…. I just walked away, kicking and shuffling through the fallen leaves, wondering what the hell just happened.

And I felt that way this week. As adults we have responsibilities that we don’t have to carry when we are children. A part of life and growing up, I suppose. No one is there to tell us what the rules are and how we should act. We have an ingrained idea, however (that we hopefully have brought with us from our childhood) but sometimes it’s difficult to stay within the invisible lines. I know that my inner child likes to come out and play from time to time. It’s not fun being responsible 24/7 and I would hazard a guess that is why I like writing, getting a little crazy and communicating with you on this forum. What I’ve found in life, however, as I’m sure many of you have as well, is that it’s not as simple as being polite and doing what you’re supposed to do to receive that little bit of candy as an adult. Life doesn’t work that way (unless you’re Army Rover and receive a free Discovery II ). On the flip side, however, (and this sounds very selfish) I’ve realized that without that little piece of candy there isn’t much of a reason to play. And that makes Ms. Slightly Crazy a slightly dull girl. Why would anyone go knocking on doors if there is no reply? Doesn’t make sense to me. There is only so much of myself I can give before I need to re-nourish my soul.

Like a horse, donkey, mule or jackass being coaxed uphill with that dangling carrot we all need reinforcements in life. A pay raise, a smile, ten minutes of a friend’s time. Not a very romantic notion but it’s practical. Life’s lesson begin with win/win. If someone doesn’t invest the time into you that you do for them, then is it a win/win? What makes one stay? Nothing can be one sided and still exist. I’ve realized this week that I may not need candy but I do need contact. I deserve that.

I hope I haven’t become too jaded in my ‘older’ age because I believe perfection to be unattainable. There is no such thing as the perfect costume, the perfect life, the perfect person, the perfect friend. I’m not that naïve, little, three year old in a Yogi the Bear mask (minus the vomit) knocking on a neighbor’s door for a small piece of chocolate. I learned at a real young age that the neighbor’s dog already ate it.

So Rover enthusiasts, before I slip over into the abyss would any of you care to share what the fascination is with Halloween? What will you be this year? Do you have any fond memories of Halloween’s past? Are you the type to trick if you don’t get a treat or are you, like me, unfortunately, one tempted to walk away? Have you ever trunk or treated and is the Rover the vehicle to do it in?

 

lol... well obviously it isn't for the love of the Holiday...

Note to self: Rover owners are pahhty poopers and hate Halloween

 

My costume is Marlon Brando in a Streetcar Named Desire. I have a hole in my t-shirt and I yell Stella a bunch

 

So what you're saying is that you're not the type to go for jasmine perfume?

Poor Blanche - she's a mess...

 

Lot of Blanches out there. a lot of Blanches

 

well you'll be in good company come Halloween then, non? Thanks for making me smile today Slab. I needed that. So you're back from the windy state of Florida?

 

I'm in and out and working some. because of my travel junkie habits, I must work to replenish the till for the next adventure.
Still warm here but may drop into the 60's this week brrrr time to move on again soon.
keep em coming..

 

Now this is not the first time I am asking for cultural directions on this forum...

What is all this (religious?) stuff about? The neighbour has (empty?) coffins on his porch, one giant pumpkin by the front door, real ugly looking rags around the trees. All the shops have stacks of giant pumpkins which will start stinking any day now. Paving the way for Santa Claus and Christmas? (At least I know he is the Holy Saint of beer drinkers). Not sure about the Hallowed Santa Wheen, though.

"Hello Wheen"? or "hallowed" weenies? (But I see no Austrian sausages on display).

From where was this brought into the US of A? Can't be England - over there they jubilantly rejoice in the tacit memory of a terrorist that tried to burn parliamanent or something down.

Not France - they have the kind if dentally challenged Count to revere. Certainly not Germany, Holland, Italy. And I believe its been here since before the invasion from the land of the Shiraz grape started.

The Celts? Nah, never heard of that from accross the sea to Ireland - and Scotland the Brave would have fed the wily candy-crazy witches to Nessie long ago.

Mexico? There indeed is a cult of a dark culture over there that tries to face fear for the demons of death by mocking it, yes.

Even the cranky neighbour with the coffins could not really inlighten me, so I am smiling in anticipation of what is to come.

 

Oh dear.. is it time for another lesson? I can’t sleep, my mind is turning too much and so I’m up with the falling drops of rain. I do believe you were a bit premature in your assumptions regarding this festive holiday, Mr. Montero. And I never in a million years thought that I’d be giving a lesson in trick or treating to a man from South Africa, but here goes:

(This quote is straight from the ‘history channel website’ so you know that it MUST be true)

‘Straddling the line between fall and winter, plenty and paucity, life and death, Halloween is a time of celebration and superstition. It is thought to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts.’

Those pumpkins that you see piling up at the local grocery store are bought and sold with high hopes. To some, they signify more than the passing of time and season. They are life. A farmer planted that seed a long, long time ago (ok, it was in the Spring – but it seems more like 10 years ago) hoping that what he sowed would result in a bountiful harvest of beauty and coin. (Yes, I know – coin isn’t very romantic in the story sense but apparently it’s practical and farmers don’t just grow pumpkins for the hell of it). So….to some, like the farmer and the family that carve the pumpkin, the cycle of seed to fruition represents life. Memories are made from picking out the pumpkin at the pumpkin patch (or in your case the grocery store), to carving the design and taking photos of it lit up like a beacon on Halloween night. And this is where you come in, Mr. Montero. Hopefully you have supported your local farmer and business by buying one of those round orange items (that may be rotting in the bin in a week’s time), and like a good neighbor (State farm is there..), as well as the friendly dollar store cashier, have taken the time to be creative.

In Halloween sense, being creative means pulling your fancy pantyhose out of a drawer (hopefully, in your case, you’ll have to buy some) and spray painting a nifty design onto your pumpkin skin or digging deeper and trying it in the traditional sense (actually taking the time to carve it with a stellar design). I’ll have you know that the pantyhose method is just plain cheating (which I’m figuring you don’t do) so I recommend doing it the traditional way for good measure. You can even roast the pumpkin seeds after a good wash, salt them and have them for a snack.

NOW that you have the preparatory pieces of this puzzling Halloween presentation completed, you will need a bowl of candy. Any bowl will do. It doesn’t matter if it’s plastic, wood or ceramic but I’m not keen on plastic, ceramic chips too easily and is heavy, so I use wood. Yep. Good old wood. FILL that bowl up because you’re going to need it. If you live in the hub of your hamlet, the promise of chocolate will have children flocking to your door in droves like crazed Walmart shoppers in search of the best bargain the day after Thanksgiving. I’m assuming you would select chocolate for your candy choice but at this point any candy will do – time is a wasting and Halloween is two days away.

You may choose to decorate your porch (or stoop?) with more than just a pumpkin – make it look inviting – not too sure about the coffin but you could try overgrown spiders, or something?....it’s not necessary to ‘keep up with the Joneses’, just a little something to show that you’re open to play. If your Rover is still parked out front you could decorate it with cobwebs (if you don’t have enough building up already) and remove that elusive spider you were looking for – put him in a more prominent place, like on top of the vehicle.

Ok. So it’s the night of Halloween and you’re ready. You’ve got your pumpkin, it’s hopefully lit (or has the painted design of your fancy pantyhose on it), you’ve got your candy in a wooden bowl, and your porch light is on. Someone knocks on your door. Yep.. YOUR door. OMG!! What do I do?!?!? First, calm down, Mr. Montero. Take a deep breath – you don’t want to upset your newly bionic bits. Someone apparently knocked on your door – you need to answer it. And properly.

If you were feeling more than festive you could pick up a devil headband at the local dollar store and don it to the door. Kids like that. They like to think that the person answering the door is partaking in the fun. There’s nothing worse than no fun.

An example you ask?

Gladly. I believe that I previously stated, that as a child, 9 out of 10 times (on Halloween) I was rewarded with candy for my best behavior. The only time I wasn’t was when the neighborhood lady completely hid from sight (and as you know I am still suffering from some sort of trauma from that entire incident). The second worst thing you can do to a child is the old bait and switch. Yeah, I know. Painful. How is the bait and switch implemented on Halloween? I’m going to tell you..

Your porch light is on. The spider is on your Rover. Your pumpkin is lit. You may even be wearing a devil headband with fur trim. I ring your bell (at least I’m thinking you have a bell..) and say ‘trick or treat’. And what happens? You answer, make me sing a song and then hand me a piece of FRUIT!!!! (and not of the Sweet Tango variety). That is the WORST thing that you can do to a child. No child wants a damn piece of fruit, Mr. Montero. Please, whatever you do, do not hand out the fruit. That’s about as unexciting as you can get for a child on Halloween. And for god sake, please don’t make them sing a song. They will be traumatized for life.

You, Mr. Montero, are now ready for Halloween.

Devil’s night? That’s a whole ‘nother story..

 

Our kids are all grown and moved out so we don't "trick or treat" ever, but being married to a costume designer I have found that wearing something for parties, holidays or any number of other special event is part of the deal. And really.....I'm pretty agreeable about the whole thing.

I think the kids who knock on your door are amused by you wearing a costume just as much as you can be by their costumes.

Anyways... this is a few years ago.... Mrs. Senormac had me completely Uncle Festerized.... with bald head rubber cap too. I had a full head of hair under that thing
She made the robe and did the make up also. She of course played the part of Morticia and made her dress.