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I showed the diagram of the inner workings of my brain to my therapist before I let the door ricochet off my ***. I told him that I’m a ‘step by step’ kind of girl – starting in one room, making my way thru the house with the basement at the top of my mind. Is that possible?... I had a girlfriend who once joked that whatever goes in the basement, stays in the basement – now I know what she means. It also has a way of accumulating an odor, much like the one that has disappeared from my back passenger rear brake/tire.
I think my scale is buried down there, along with my sewing kit, tool kit, tape measure, you name it – it’s in the basement. Last year was supposed to be ‘the year’ – to clean it out, move it out, have a huge yard sale, save lots of money from said garage sale, you know.. that kind of thing. I don’t know what happened though – time had a way of slipping past me and so did my friends.
I need to focus, and that is at the top of my mind (and list) for 2017. Not too busy to write on the forum, mind you, but I…
Will.
Be.
Getting.
It.
Done.
I’m not a multi-tasker…. are you? Two days ago I posted a photo of myself playing the piano. If you were fast enough to catch it (snapchat), you would have seen that it appeared I was doing two things at once....playing the piano and throwing a party. Perhaps I was merely the ‘entertainment’… I don’t rightly know. Either way, I haven’t multi-tasked in many moons – probably over 20 years or so.
I say twenty years because, at the time, I was working for a company that I didn’t particularly care for, and I recall typing and talking to a colleague, simultaneously, in the front office. He started to laugh, watching my fingers fly, as I turned my head sideways, taking in everything he was saying while not missing a beat. I think I could type around 55 words per minute while holding down a conversation with one person. Anything more than that would be taxing my very small brain. Talk to an entire audience while playing the piano? An audience that has already paid for their ticket? Mind boggling and talented for sure. Professionals are definitely skilled - no wonder piano bars exist. I love them….where else can you find entertainment, hot and cheesy appetizers and libations?
I guess there’s always the internet if you enjoy that kind of thing. Me? Not so much but it is entertaining to throw out an occasional bottle to see who finds it. Good thing ‘finders/keepers’ doesn’t apply to electronic technology as I could find myself in a precarious position for sure. Doing the limbo underneath a loosely leveled walker, after tanking up on ensure protein drink and being banned from the drugstore, is comical - in its own right. Fun? I don’t think so.
But again, I’m rambling so back onto point. I think my therapist is exasperated with me right about now. I believe he wants me to pop a signed affidavit in the mail stating that I won’t storm out of his office again. I’m a little skeptical to do that, however, as, last time, I felt that he noticed not only my behavior but the sexy chubby southern girl next to me who was waiting for her therapy session too. I saw the way she was scowling at him…like it was a court ordered therapy session and she didn’t want to be there. I sure hope they’ve kissed and made up already as I don’t want to have to sit there in the waiting room, watching her scowl all year long. Now that would be tense.
Wish my new-lost phone would have been socialist one. My wife suggested I get a cell phone, since I'm driving the Discovery to work. So, me being old fashion and such...I do the capitalism thing...and buy one...but it only lasted a week...and now it's gone to parts unknown. Funny, I drive a 33 year old car to work all summer long, and never once thought of having a phone...but now break into a sweat just visualizing myself backing out of the garage in the LR without one.
So, if anyone in Michigan comes across a little black flip phone, with a picture inside of the most handsome, wonderful, English setter on the planet...it is mine.
On my way to work this morning, I drove past another billboard. This one stated ‘worrying is like paying a debt that you don’t owe’. It’s also similar to letting someone live rent free in your head, much like the clutter that fills a basement.
I reminded myself that slow and steady wins the race. Even if I’m off like a turd of hurdles I know that I’ll reach my destination in the end, however long that may take me. I’ve realized that this is a journey of self-discovery which, sometimes can be destructive, reflective, maddening, frustrating and perhaps positive if I let it be. Nothing more, nothing less. There is no one here to dictate when I must do something, only a catch-phrase to get me thinking about life and what I want to get out of it. And I must remind myself that I am more than Fred Sanford’s son.
Sometimes it’s hard to remind ourselves that we are capable, loving, intelligent and deserving individuals, worthy of attention from others. Catch-phrases should build one up rather than drag them down. Gone are the days of the automatic negative ‘self-talk’ replay reel. It’s self-destructive and not the kind of Discovery that promotes a healthy glow from within.
This weekend was particularly hard on me. There was a time when I thought that maybe I was a little bit special (in an Enid Strict kind of way) but Saturday I learned that isn’t necessarily the case. I got dressed up (minus the wings) and took an hour and a half drive to parts unknown and met up with an old friend for dinner. We met half-way, found a little hole in the wall that holds special meaning to both of us and reminisced over old memories and made some new. He showed me some snapshots of his life and where he is now, what he’s been up to and that’s when my little light bulb illuminated again. That was the moment when I realized that everyone is a little bit ‘special’ – everyone has a purpose. Each one of us is our very own special snowflake - some with sparkle, some with rough edges, a few that are melting, some that are frozen and others that are just plain beautiful. Simple fun it is to admire a frozen snowflake - somewhat painful it is to be the one melting.
I have a colleague who adores photography and capturing these frozen creatures on film. He brings his photos into work and shares them with others, describing the process in which he captures snowflakes, and separates them prior to placing them onto dry ice to preserve for photographing. It’s so interesting to see how passionate he is with his hobbies and how his enthusiasm rubs off onto those around him. A simple question of ‘how was your weekend?’ leads one into a canvas of emotion and color, possibilities amongst candor as he describes the process in which he captures the soul of an inanimate object. In the winter his studies consist of snow, and in the summer, he captures the common house fly. I thought I’d share a sample of his work. Simple and beautiful, each photo needs no introduction:
It’s apparent from reading thru the forum threads and studying human nature that most everyone is passionate about something, whatever that something may be. It is what makes us unique, true to ourselves, excited, enthralled, curious and dare I say, somewhat complete. Whether your passion is being off-road, rebuilding cars, photography, sports, exploring the great outdoors, reading, running, collecting, traveling, underwater basket weaving or organic farming…. know this: You are ok, just the way you are, and there is no reason to worry about a thing.
Last edited by landlover_1; 01-30-2017 at 10:44 PM.
OH and eating a brownie.. double fudge with frosting. Contemplating the deeper things in life, like what I’m going to make for Super Bowl Sunday appetizers and who I’m going to invite.
Apparently, I’ve pissed off the world by ‘just’ being me. Not hard to do I suppose. Everyone has taken their ball and gone home and I have no one to blame but myself. It appears that no one likes a ‘debbie downer’ and that is what I’ve become in the past week. Let’s just call it the January blues and get on with it, shall we? Seeing as today is the first day of February I’m off to a good start
Guess what?!? Eight weeks until it’s April and less than that until it’s officially spring!!!! I say ‘officially’ as March 21st marks the equinox and:
I
Cannot
Wait!
Don’t know what I’m waiting for but ok….lol.. could be a monsoon in April or more snow or maybe I’ll get lucky and the birds will be flitting about and I can actually wear an Easter dress. But until then..
I’m going to talk about something nice like mountain flowers. That’s what we say in my family when we don’t want to talk about an unpleasant topic.
‘Let’s talk about something nice like mountain flowers, shall we?’ And Rovers and fixing everything that is wrong with mine, starting with the rear hatch door. I popped it off the back ‘pin’ the other day and it’s swinging freely wherever it wants to be. Does anyone have any advice on how to fix this? I may have to open up a new thread and see if there's anyone left that's able to help little ol’ me.
Last edited by landlover_1; 02-01-2017 at 03:31 PM.
01-28-2017, 12:09 PM
(oh wait a minute.. I shouldn't be eating that, should I?.. oopsie! 
)
