STOLEN: 2004 Discovery II in Houston Texas (RoverTym everything and 32" BFG)
#11
Fumble! Recovery....
I'll start this post by thanking everyone who said something nice about the situation. It's weird how it makes you feel better when you feel so violated.
I am going to tell the 100% truth here, even though it would be better for me to lie about it. It would make you respect me quite a bit more to lie. I just like to learn my lessons the hard way.
That being said: WE FOUND THE TRUCK!
Even better than that: WE FOUND THE TRUCK IN BETTER CONDITION THAN IT WAS IN... (except the smell of crack smoke and Black and Milds)
Yea- Wow... that's what I said.
The story:
The truck was sitting in front of my house on the park that is shown in the OP. We had a party on Saturday night and a friend of mine drove it home in the morning and brought it back in the evening, parking it where it sat on Sunday evening. The doors weren't locked, as has been stated, a locked Discovery II can't be stolen brute-force. The door must be unlocked for the computer to allow ignition.
Even more ridiculously I had a business friend in town and had brought him by to show him my house Monday night. I opened the door on the Disco and showed him the truck. He exclaimed "you leave that thing unlocked?" to which I replied "there's nothing in it... they can have a look and find that for themselves."
Dumb move on my part #1 I didn't know my friend left it unlocked. That's no excuse. It's my dog.
So fast-forward to Kevin Layasan Smith, or one of his homies, driving through the "white boy area" trolling for some open vehicles from which to pilfer some goodies to move for crack-rocks. Stumbled on Urban Assault (the trucks name) and proceeded to rifle through his disappointingly-devoid-of-goodies interior. Until...
Dumb move on my part #2: *fuzzy flashback sequence*
New Years Eve 2009, Big Party in Apartment, Clean Up, Can't find last set of keys to Discovery, It's locked in parking garage, Embark on mission to get replacement key made, First key doesn't work, Find its cut backwards from the codebook, second key (each key is spendy as they were the integrated key-fob style) doesn't work... Just completely refuses. I work on it for 3 days. With a set of small files and a de-burring wheel. I work on it, my friend works on it. It's an epic fail, and Land Rover Houston Central wont take it back this time... because according to the book, and my own witnessing of the codes going into the gun and then rechecking the outcomes, it's right. It just DOESN'T WORK.
Key goes into the glove box to wait for a day that im forced to spend a sizable enough amount at the Rover dealership (like when a friend I brought over is about to buy a Range) that I can make them take it back and cut a new one. And there it sits.
*leaving fuzzy flashback*
Kevin Layasan Smith's crack-pipe being empty brings him to the key.
He shoves it into the ignition and I assume turns it with all his might. And it works.
IT- WORKED- (this alone angers me, less the stolen truck part and all this more or less being my fault) I.T. W.O.R.K.E.D. I hate that key.
Like a cracked out Black Arthur- the sword and the stone, the key that never moved turned and started the truck.
So the revving that I heard now made some sense. Young cracked out Kevin had done what a lot of people who haven't driven a Discovery II before have done and pressed down on the accelerator rather than the brake their first time. It's a close toe-box and I have seen my friends do it over and over when I let them drive it. Kevin did it 3 times- but that's pretty understandable, crack has that effect on a young man.
So off went Kevin like a young King Arthur on his Best 4x4xFar into the cool mist of 3:00 AM pre-dawn Houston Texas. Off towards his kingdom- the Fifth Ward.
And there for the following 11 hours Sir Kevin Smith spurred my trusted and beloved steed around the mean streets of the Fifth Ward. Like any young gentleman of his breeding, he and his friends enjoyed the Luxury by smoking some fine Black-N-Mild cigars after enjoying some Crack Cocaine (2011 Vintage) . It was a brisk day outside, so it wasn't terribly bothersome that they couldn't figure out how to open the windows. There apparently are no window switches on a 2004 Land Rover Discovery II. No bother they would kindly rip the rear-console ashtray out and balance it on the center console.
And as men about town they rode. Until someone called in a "Suspicious Vehicle" at an apartment off of 610 and Lockwood a police officer responded and young Kevin was caught, backed into a spot, smoking a Black-N-Mild and utterly outraged that he was being arrested.
"Cause mah homie gave me this car. I ain't done nuffin' wrong"
And so it was-
I am going to tell the 100% truth here, even though it would be better for me to lie about it. It would make you respect me quite a bit more to lie. I just like to learn my lessons the hard way.
That being said: WE FOUND THE TRUCK!
Even better than that: WE FOUND THE TRUCK IN BETTER CONDITION THAN IT WAS IN... (except the smell of crack smoke and Black and Milds)
Yea- Wow... that's what I said.
The story:
The truck was sitting in front of my house on the park that is shown in the OP. We had a party on Saturday night and a friend of mine drove it home in the morning and brought it back in the evening, parking it where it sat on Sunday evening. The doors weren't locked, as has been stated, a locked Discovery II can't be stolen brute-force. The door must be unlocked for the computer to allow ignition.
Even more ridiculously I had a business friend in town and had brought him by to show him my house Monday night. I opened the door on the Disco and showed him the truck. He exclaimed "you leave that thing unlocked?" to which I replied "there's nothing in it... they can have a look and find that for themselves."
Dumb move on my part #1 I didn't know my friend left it unlocked. That's no excuse. It's my dog.
So fast-forward to Kevin Layasan Smith, or one of his homies, driving through the "white boy area" trolling for some open vehicles from which to pilfer some goodies to move for crack-rocks. Stumbled on Urban Assault (the trucks name) and proceeded to rifle through his disappointingly-devoid-of-goodies interior. Until...
Dumb move on my part #2: *fuzzy flashback sequence*
New Years Eve 2009, Big Party in Apartment, Clean Up, Can't find last set of keys to Discovery, It's locked in parking garage, Embark on mission to get replacement key made, First key doesn't work, Find its cut backwards from the codebook, second key (each key is spendy as they were the integrated key-fob style) doesn't work... Just completely refuses. I work on it for 3 days. With a set of small files and a de-burring wheel. I work on it, my friend works on it. It's an epic fail, and Land Rover Houston Central wont take it back this time... because according to the book, and my own witnessing of the codes going into the gun and then rechecking the outcomes, it's right. It just DOESN'T WORK.
Key goes into the glove box to wait for a day that im forced to spend a sizable enough amount at the Rover dealership (like when a friend I brought over is about to buy a Range) that I can make them take it back and cut a new one. And there it sits.
*leaving fuzzy flashback*
Kevin Layasan Smith's crack-pipe being empty brings him to the key.
He shoves it into the ignition and I assume turns it with all his might. And it works.
IT- WORKED- (this alone angers me, less the stolen truck part and all this more or less being my fault) I.T. W.O.R.K.E.D. I hate that key.
Like a cracked out Black Arthur- the sword and the stone, the key that never moved turned and started the truck.
So the revving that I heard now made some sense. Young cracked out Kevin had done what a lot of people who haven't driven a Discovery II before have done and pressed down on the accelerator rather than the brake their first time. It's a close toe-box and I have seen my friends do it over and over when I let them drive it. Kevin did it 3 times- but that's pretty understandable, crack has that effect on a young man.
So off went Kevin like a young King Arthur on his Best 4x4xFar into the cool mist of 3:00 AM pre-dawn Houston Texas. Off towards his kingdom- the Fifth Ward.
And there for the following 11 hours Sir Kevin Smith spurred my trusted and beloved steed around the mean streets of the Fifth Ward. Like any young gentleman of his breeding, he and his friends enjoyed the Luxury by smoking some fine Black-N-Mild cigars after enjoying some Crack Cocaine (2011 Vintage) . It was a brisk day outside, so it wasn't terribly bothersome that they couldn't figure out how to open the windows. There apparently are no window switches on a 2004 Land Rover Discovery II. No bother they would kindly rip the rear-console ashtray out and balance it on the center console.
And as men about town they rode. Until someone called in a "Suspicious Vehicle" at an apartment off of 610 and Lockwood a police officer responded and young Kevin was caught, backed into a spot, smoking a Black-N-Mild and utterly outraged that he was being arrested.
"Cause mah homie gave me this car. I ain't done nuffin' wrong"
And so it was-
#16
Wow, go figure. I bet the key will not work when you try it next....
When there is crack involved, everyone's on the same level, white/black/yellow, etc. The mentality (or lack thereof) is the same. I think the story would read the same no matter what race the guy was. Glad you got it back!
When there is crack involved, everyone's on the same level, white/black/yellow, etc. The mentality (or lack thereof) is the same. I think the story would read the same no matter what race the guy was. Glad you got it back!
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