okay folks, here goes...

I'm back and I have a new cluster of problems that I'm not 100% where to begin with. About a month ago I had the M&S lights come on, turned it off then back on, the lights were gone, no problems...
A few weeks later they came back, this time they were more persistent I looked here and figured it was probably the battery. I figured this because the car has had the same cheap battery in it for a few years so maybe it was time for a change. Big surprise I bought the battery started the car to pull it to the garage and no M&S lights. I drove around for a a few days they never came back so I didn't bother to change the battery. Weird.
Then on my way home from work one day, BAM! the lights come back, won't go off, the service engine light came on and I was about 5 miles from home so I just drove it (I know...). when moving from a stop the SEL light would flash until I got up to about 15-20mph then stop flashing.

I got home, put the new battery in and tried to start it to see if it would clear the M&S Lights. Now it won't start, will not crank, no click, no lights no nothing. I'm thinking this is weird, so I did what any idiot would do and I tried to jump it from the old battery. Started right up! but the M&S and SEL lights were still there. I let it idle for a little bit thinking maybe that would put a little charge on the new battery. I checked the volts on the new battery and they were good, I checked the alternator and the volts hover around 13.8-14.2 but every 8-10 seconds they drop to 7 or 8 then climb up to 10 and then jump to 14 (the whole process takes 2-4 seconds).

So I want to fix the M&S problems and SEL light, but I don't even know where to begin? is this a mechanical issue? I'm fairly mechanical but I'll be honest I don't have a lot of experience with electrical issues. any ideas where I should start? Also I'm sure people will ask about codes, which I can have read, but I thought codes were only associated with the "check engine" light, not the "service engine soon" light. Am I wrong about this?



A little history:
2003 DiscoveryII, 84K
overheated at 56K, brought it to dealership, 2 months later a new short block installed covered by extended warranty ($7,400) now it has a pretty significant ticking noise when it get up to temp.
at 70K a valet drove it into a parking garage with 6' clearence crushed the roof, broke the rear sunroof, windows... had to sue the valet company, new roof put on the truck, first day it rained I came to a stop and about a gallon of water came pouring from the headliner and seatbelt posts... had them re-fix it. I was concerned about water damage as I know that wiring harnesses follow the roof lines... who knows.
Finally get it back and a month later and I get rear-ended by a US Mail truck. Rear bumper, passenger 1/4 panel damage. This truck is a laugh riot! my wife and I think it is cursed, and it has spent almost as many hours in the shop as it has on the road. I know that I shouldn't stay in this abusive relationship but I love her, do you think there is a chance I can make it work? (The truck I mean).

 

Sounds like your alternator is toast.
If you let the new battery sit on the garage floor it would have lost its charge because the cold cement will suck the juice out of it, always set it on a block of wood if you want to keep it charged.
You cant do anything about the codes until your low voltage problem is solved.