If they are doing your head gaskets, all of that needs to be done. The block cleaning isn't mandatory, but it makes it easier for them, and after it is done, easy to see where leaks are coming from.

If you ask them to put on the wires, they should have no problem.

 

Head gaskets, although they may leak a little oil, it is not real common, the usuall problem comes from the v/c gaskets and the intake manifold gaskets.
If you haven't started on it yet, I would go get that engine power scrubbed and take a real close look at your leak.
As for the heads, valve jobs usually are looked at above the 160,000 mile mark.

 

Usually, the point of going to an indy mech, is because the stealership charges way more. At this point, your indy is charging you just as much as the stealership would.

The job you're mentionning should take approx. 10-12 hours max. Knowing that indys usually charge about 60% of the dealer's hourly labor rate, you should save at least be $500.00 off that price. Otherwise, might as well bring it to the dealer. At least you have a 1 year warranty on parts and labor, and you know that they will be there in a year, as opposed to an indy mech that could also give you a 1 year warranty and close the shop in a few months... But then again, that's just experience speeking