I know nothing is undiagnosable - something's wrong, so something's broke. My ECM doesn't have a clue so no mechanic I bring the thing to has a clue either. Everyone's answer? Drive it until it throws a code. It's been 2 years. No codes. No change in the issue; no worse, no better.

2012 Land Rover LR4 HSE

I turn her on, cold or hot, she starts fine. RPMs start high, come down after a 10-20 seconds. Like they should. Half the time, it comes down to 1100, the rest of the time, 800 RPMs. I pull out and go, 1st gear, nothing noticeable but at low RPMs, it's almost like the acceleration is purposefully limited until about 3000 RPMs when the engine comes to life and I go the way she's supposed to ...go. Every gear. The transmission's been rebuilt and rechecked. It's more noticeable in 2nd and 3rd gears since I just keep getting lower on the pedal, gears drop, RPMs are higher than 3000 and she goes.

No codes and it's been tested out the ***. I have another car so I'm in no rush but I feel like fixing it. Any guess on the issue? More info I can provide to extract an idea from you? All I can figure is a sensor reporting stupid information but not stupid enough to alarm the stupid ECM. Jesus, help.