It’s officially autumn – Happy Autumnal Equinox Rover friends.

Apple picking, pumpkins, donuts & cider, color tours in the Rover, warm balmy Saturdays and crisp cool nights. The countdown has begun for me, in my mind, of how many weeks are left before the cold sets in. I’m not a fan of winter and it’s hard for me to get into that mode, especially when I think of how short summer really was. I didn’t get to accomplish all that I had wanted to tackle this past season.

And so with the shortening days of light, I’m starting to nest, thinking about issues to complete before winter sets in – a chimney that needs cleaning, plants that need nurturing and, of course, buttoning up the Rover in a warm woolen coat (or leather or pleather or anything that says ‘give me a hug’). I need to know that my Rover is ok and comfortable and will get me thru the winter even if I don’t have my reliable bum warmer this year. I have really become attached to this reliable hunk of metal around me, feeling protected as I drive down the road less travelled, hoping that it will be with me through the long haul.

The few precious warm days that are now left give way to cold crisps nights for dreaming and slumber. It is a welcome respite from my overactive imagination, but, as I have found, the mind doesn’t shut off when I sleep. Dreams of open-ended relationships and non-closure consumed me last night. I know that I slept soundly enough as I felt like I had slept hard but I remembered my dreams as soon as I woke up. I don’t think I would necessarily call them dreams – but they weren’t nightmares either. Just a somewhat ‘unpleasant’ feeling of wanting more out of my relationships and not being able to get that closure that I so desperately need. It was a film reel actually, play by play of my past relationships and how they ended. My body is rested but my mind is not.

Funny how I can give advice to someone who is ‘battling’ the same exact issue but I cannot practice what I preach. My sister is presently in a relationship with a man who is 20 years her senior. He lives in another state approximately eight hours south of us and travels up to visit - every so often (she last saw him 2 months ago). To my sister it isn’t enough. He sends her gifts in the mail, waders, a fly fishing vest, bouquets of multi-colored roses, an occasional love letter…and calls probably once a week. They did not exchange e-mail addresses which I think is slightly odd, but ok – who am I to judge. He is in the process of moving north but not because of her, that move was planned long before he saw her walking off of the river. He has invited her to travel with him twice now but seeing that he is retired and she is not, the details have been messy. As it turned out he had to cancel his plans for both vacations and thus is planning one for next summer, and having done so, he has invited her. Nice, non? I thought so. Is it working for them? I don’t know.

In a conversation with her yesterday, I told her that, years ago, I found the hardest part of being unemployed was not knowing what was around the corner and what the future held. If I had known that it was guaranteed that I would find another job I may have enjoyed the ride while I had it. It was the never ending worry that sat in the back of my mind that ate away at my confidence that wouldn’t allow me to enjoy all that was there before me. Time to do what I wanted, time to explore, time to create and try new things. The same worry comes to me with relationships – not being able to define them, not having closure, wondering if something would have turned out differently had I said something else or acted another way. But that wouldn’t be me, my persona would have been skewed and I would have been misrepresented. In my sister’s instance, I told her that she should enjoy the company that she is being offered, as he makes her happy, they have common interests so why does the relationship have to be defined? She has been given a ‘guarantee’ (for lack of a better word) that she will see him again SOMETIME, even if it is next summer (although I suspect they’ll be fishing together next month). And for all of you cynics out there, no he is not married. Is their relationship one that is open? When they are together, yes. Are there questions to be had? I think so.

If I knew that I would see the people in my dreams again, I would have a much better time enjoying the journey. I would know that there would be closure or a cycle or a new beginning. It’s the regrets in life, the ‘what if’s’, the ‘will I ever know’ that bothers me so. We can turn off feelings but it’s hard to turn off the mind. I’d be curious if guys ever feel this way but something tells me ‘no’. If I had to hazard a guess I think they would say ‘meh’ (because a lot of men speak dusty colloquialisms) and move on. I don’t like to stereotype but I have yet to meet a man that outwardly dwells on much for long.

It’s times like these that I can appreciate the four distinct seasons and I feel fortunate to experience them all. I may not care for winter but I know that it will arrive, right after autumn. It’s the ritual – knowing that the ever faithful changing of the guards are there, steadfast and strong, telling us that it’s time for change, albeit a comfortable one because we’ve experienced it before. We know that even though it may seem like the longest winter imaginable, spring will come again and the plants will sprout up, life will flourish as it always does, every year, give or take a month or two.

On this day as summer passes and autumn reveals itself again, I feel the need to touch antennas with you, share some bandwidth and be on the same wavelength with other Rover adventurists. As I stoke up the crockpot and put the kettle on, please tell me, what is on your ‘to do’ list before winter settles in?....

Signed with love,

Ms. SC

 

‘This strangely still pause between summer and autumn, greenery and gold, and the heat and rising wind that is once again readying itself to rush it all away in a climactic symphony of color and scent is – in my opinion, one of the best parts about living on earth.’ – Victoria Erickson
Ahhh.. but I so have to agree with Ms. Erickson’s musings. It’s unfortunate that no one wants to meet me on the cusp of summer and autumn and trade stories – we all must be so busy with buttoning up our Rovers for the cold chill to come. I know that my list is long and time is short but oh, how I would love to meet you on the footpath of this fine season for we could have one glorious adventure. I could make some sandwiches, zucchini bread and a flask of tea, we could don our walking boots and get lost somewhere...the topic can be anything you'd like for it to be.. your choice.

 

It is that time of year When We try to do everything that is outside. So not being around I have missed all the fun on here.. I enjoy reading your posts . Just not sure how to respond? It is very stream of Conciseness and eloquent.
All I have is A head Gasket job on Midnight. and get ready to go on a road trip for a couple of weeks.I will travel all I can until I can't travel anymore.

Keep Writing and I will keep reading

 

X1 Very eloquent writing Emma. Like Slabrat I'm not sure what or how to contribute but enjoy reading your posts also. I agree here even in europe that there has been a marked change in the weather since last weekend at Angouleme and it has become some 5-10C colder during the day and more so at night. Autumn has taken a sudden grip and there's still much to do outside particularly on the trucks in the garage although I've now installed my trusty industrial electric fan/space heater on the wall so it may be a little more comfortable in there . Lots to do in the garden on the hard landscaping and I've seen 'her indoors', the 'boss' out there tending her plants, shrubs and flowers. Even the cat comes in at night now when the temperature drops below 12C.

 

I will start calling you the world traveler Slabrat And pray tell, where will the roads lead you this time and will you be taking in the beautiful autumn colors? It is nice to hear that you will have your Rover by your side for your next adventure (although I think I could do without Emma for 3 months if I were touring Europe – I would miss her though).

‘All I have is a headgasket job..’ Would you like to rephrase this sentence or does it really come that easy to you? You and Offroad are so kind to say that my writing is eloquent (thank you) but it is I that is impressed with you. It never ceases to amaze me how you guys dig into an engine with gusto like it’s a plate of savory spaghetti! And here I am, gingerly plucking at this and that underneath the hood wondering if the piece in my hands is indeed the throttle body heater (it kind of looks like the diagram in the Rave) and if I wind this hose around that will I end up with coolant sauce splattering everywhere? And can it be put back together again?..... I often have mental images of taking my door panel off to fix the driver side window and not being able to get it back on thus rendering myself homebound or walking to work for a week I’m sure worse things could happen but it would slightly cramp my style....not to mention my toes Again, not being able to see the end result prevents me from starting in the first place. It’s a vicious cycle – one that I’m trying to break.

I appreciate you two responding to this latest thread. I don’t expect anyone to answer but it is always a pleasant surprise when someone actually does. It’s nice to know that I’m not talking to myself.. or writing to myself.. or commiserating by myself. Speaking of which, how is your eye Offroad? Getting any better?

The colors in our State have become more beautiful by the day. I was able to take a nice drive last night just before sunset and the trees were absolutely stunning. I’m hoping to get a few more Saturday or Sunday drives in before the snow hits. Definitely not ready...

 

Is this a personal ad? You had me at "coolant sauce splattering everywhere".

 

All I have is a Head Gasket Job Is me being Sarcastic.. Seems there is always a head gasket job or a main seal ,plug wires ,etc. That is why I have a spare Rover so I'm not walking. Then on the other hand I have double trouble.
Next road trip is to Southern Florida. I have a grandson that loves the outdoors. Hunting , Fishing , horses. While I'm not big on Hunting or horses, I do know a bit about fishing. (Not to mistaken with phishing, Which I have no skill) So we will find some good fishing spots and hopefully catch something besides mosquito bites and a cold..
Midnight will be the main mode of transportation now that all the leaks are fixed and new plugs/Wires and Gaskets. Greasy drive shafts new tires bla bla,
Throttle body next time it leaks I will bypass it. Unless I go somewhere cold probably don't need it. Puddles has been bypassed for years.
The trees are beginning to turn even down here. I expect the daily temp to drop out of the 80's any day now.
House is almost ready for winter. I hope I'm not here most of it. but it will be ready.

I can no longer do long cave trips or hard rock climbing so now I will move into the next phase. Taking it easy. Sleep on a soft pad while camping. Limiting hiking to less than 12 miles a day if carrying a backpack . Lay on the beach, Drive the Rover instead of hiking. And of course fishing.
hope to hear from you all soon

Gone Fishun

 

Ahh.. your sarcasm escaped me... Fish on Slabrat and have fun!

 

Hm.. a personal ad. I have always thought the term to be such an oxymoron. Wouldn’t you concur, fishEH? Kind of like cruel kindness, but thank you for responding. You have tempted me to write more and define this peculiar juxtaposition.

Personal: of, pertaining to, or coming as from a particular person; individual; private. Intended for use by one person.

Advertisement: something that is shown or presented to the public to help sell a product or to make an announcement. A public notice.

So in this instance if I were to be writing a personal ad, the definition would be ‘a public notice, broadcast over the internet, intended for use by one person.’ That sounds about right

But seriously, if my thread was any type of personal ad I’m sure most of the men reading it would go screaming in the polar opposite direction. It has been many a year since I dared to be so brazen, and that was when there were polite ads in the back of a respectable newspaper, a time when the internet wasn’t widely known and just beginning to blossom. No Craigslist variety for this lady, no siree (insert appropriate name here), although for a good laugh I do browse them from time to time (shame on me..) Do people really do that?!?!?!?

Non.. my days of the personal ad consisted of men dialing a number and leaving their message for me to hear their voice and then I would weed thru the voices hoping to catch an artistic soul that I felt a connection with.

OK, so I’m lying. You caught me.

I will rephrase that sentence and start over again, yes?

Non… my days of the personal ad consisted of men dialing a number and leaving their message for me to hear their voice and listen to their credentials (gasp!) because that is what all respectable ladies were taught to do, right? Look for ‘the list’. Now, now….. before you go and criticize Ms. Slightly Crazy you have to admit that men have lists too. And if you don’t admit to that then I wouldn’t be able to call the kettle black now, would I? What type of list? Well, probably one similar to yours but without the shiny hella headlamps and a bodacious bottorf bumper

So the story goes….I met quite a few doozies. There was the guy whose father was a professor at Stanford. He met the list. He was an engineer, lived in the same city, his last name was French (no, that wasn’t on my list – just added that to see if you’re still paying attention and to see if Abran and Offroad are reading this). His idea of a good date was to draw on my jacket in crayon, throw popcorn in my hair and trade wallets to ‘learn all that we could about each other’. Hm.. ok.

The next engineer lived four hours south of me and wanted desperately to move up north to work and play. He was in a big rush for everything, had to meet me straight away and definitely had a list of his own which (I presume) many women didn’t meet as he ended up placing his own personal ad which ran for well over five years. Our ‘love affair’ was short – 2 big dogs (of the Labrador variety), an ice cream cone in the cab of his truck while he played 20 questions – 20 minutes tops (a question a minute) which I must have failed miserably. That must have been the prototype for speed dating. I hope he found what he was searching for.

Then there was the man who owned a car audio business who stood me up. That felt good and I do believe was the demise of my personal ad dating escapades. It turned out he had called me and cancelled just after I had left the office to meet with him (left a message with a colleague) but it was of little solace to my broken ego as I sat there alone.

And what did I learn from this list? I learned not to make a list, that loving someone isn’t about a list, it’s about how they make you feel and most importantly, how you can make them feel. To quote the late but great Maya Angelou ‘'I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

And when it comes down to it….‘ain’t’ that the truth?

Would anyone else care to share an item on their list that they found wasn’t too important going on down the road?.......Come on.. I know that you had a list. Consider yourself double dog dared – with ice cream of the chocolate dipped variety. Keep it clean please – no dog fur allowed

 

I think your openness ( spell) is very refreshing. My story is not eloquently written or very nice but this is the way it happened. I was dating what is my wife now. We were bored , Go figure we had no money or much else, So we decided to date others. My big date: I was taking a film production class while in college ( I failed the class BTW ) I was supposed to review a film ( give away my age here ) I picked for our date a Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange. Hmm I took a a very innocent girl to this film. I'm not sure what was worse a film that started with a rape or she was just having a bad day , but she became ill... Projectile vomit ill All over me , the folks all around us . You get the picture. Well Lets just say getting drafted in the last draft in the USA was almost better. So I have been married ever since to my high school sweetheart. Which has been great . But I will always wonder what if.
So LandLove we are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Always wondering.
You are a very engaging intelligent lady. Stay away from engineers ( I'm an engineer but not that good of one ) Always keep what you know and who you are. Love will find you.
Gheeze you bring ou my soft side. I normally talk about wheelin or something to do with rocks.
Keep writing I like to read your posts .
I think I'll go get greasy or fix something after that.
Slab