That demon from Cleveland was exorcised today. Turns out the replacement overflow recovery container that was installed a few weeks ago and was allegedly new was faulty and had a crack just below the lip on the inner side. It would shoot coolant out at pressure, but only if the coolant accumulated on the rear end of the container. If the car was parked uphill, conditions were right and a stream of coolant would shoot out towards the ignition coils. Apparently the coils don't like having coolant spit at them. If the car was parked downhill the level of the coolant was not at the hole and no liquid would come out. While driving some fluid would come out and eventually the car would complain about Low Coolant Level.

You can't make this sh*t up.

 

Wow, this is better than an episode of Columbo.