From a boring day associating with some boring Brit expats here to something very different.

Two days ago I received an invitation from the wife of an old friend to attend his 70th birthday bash. This guy and I worked together some 40+ years ago in Paris at an EDP petro-chem company. We worked in and shared the same office on the sixth floor of a then modern office complex in the richest sector of Paris overlooking the Seine. Although we then worked on different projects we later came together on the same projects. He was highly educated and very intelligent and I realised very soon I had met my ‘match’ in this guy. Like me, he was completely “off the wall” and the company for whom we worked and had entrusted us with some of their largest projects for American and Norwegian offshore operators must have been very trusting as one could liken leaving such projects to us pair as leaving the “lunatics in charge of the asylum”. Both of us, he French and me a Brit, were working and living away from home and therefore shared many evenings out eating and drinking. All during our association I was unaware of the fact that his father owned a huge shipbuilding and fabrication yard in the South of France.

We had only met up once since working together and shared lunch in La Rochelle overlooking the old port, that was about 9-10 years ago. He told me he had remarried and his children were doing well at their respective careers and colleges and his new wife was a judge. I thought nothing more about this until the invitation arrived on Thursday requesting myself and my wife to a celebration at her chateau (what turns out to be very large chateau) in northern France. Having done some research I now find the she is from a titled French family and she is one of the premier judges in France. I had now realised I was to attend a bash in hallowed company above my league and I would be “punching above my weight” but my wife says not to worry as they wouldn’t have sent an invite unless they really wanted us to be there.
It’s strange that one works with many, many people throughout their lives and the vast majority come and go without registering on ones psyche but in the case of this guy I have always had an affinity to and his unique manner and humour. He speaks perfect English even down to the parochialisms and often preferred to speak in English rather than his native tongue, French. I feel strangely honoured or privileged to be counted amongst his/their friends and even more so having researched and knowing more about him and his wife. Strangely invisible and taciturn world that we sometimes live in.

 

Je ne pense pas que vous vous donnez suffisamment de crédit. Statut ne fait pas de l'homme. Vous avez beaucoup à offrir dans la vie et dans la société. Je m'attends à un rapport complet de la soirée Amusez-vous!

 

Malheureusement ces jours-ci, l'un est considérée comme un succès ou autrement selon leur statut monétaire plutôt que de leurs réalisations personnelles ou de ces réalisations au sein de la société et souvent jamais envisager la personne et leur personnalité et leur caractère. On devient plus sensible à ces mesures superficielles de succès ou d'échec plutôt que leurs efforts personnels. J'assisterai certainement l'anniversaire « bash » pour aucune autre raison que la rencontre une fois de plus avec mon vieil ami et profiter de sa compagnie que nous avons utilisé de nombreuses années. Je vous remercie pour votre aimable soutien et je présenterai certainement sur la soirée passée là-bas.

 

And I shall be switching back over to English now as my French is a little rusty

Yes, you are right in stating that. It's unfortunate that society has placed so much emphasis on monetary status. I have dealt with this topic all of my life and for many reasons the topic has made me who I am today. My family name was quite prominent when growing up, a big name with many investments in the community. To this day I am still asked (by many old-timers and my boss of all people) if I am part of 'that family'. It doesn't and didn't make me any different from anyone else in this town and ironically I'm a 'pauper' now but rich in living . I don't like the fact that people judge another on how much money they have. In fact I have had many a conversation regarding this topic over the past year. A person can lease a fancy car, have credit card debt up to their ears, have a mortgage on a large home they cannot afford but others will look at them and say 'oh I must respect that person because they appear to have money.' It really is absurd. I know that it is an age-old stigma/societal topic that dates way back to before Jane Austen was born but the entire topic still gets to me. There was a time when credit wasn't easily accessible and SOME people worked very hard and earned everything that they had therefore it it was normal (I would assume) to respect that person because of their achievements of hard honest work. It was a time, I also believe, when things may have been a little easier for people in search of 'The American Dream' and for those that worked hard, reward would follow. I don't know if the same can be said today. I think it's harder to get started, harder to find employment, harder to get ahead. I'm getting a little off topic though.


It is so nice to hear that your friendship is mutual and that he respects you as much as you respect him

 

Mr. M'sieur Off-Road,

This is a needle in a haystack for "Near Bordeaux" I realise, but I must try. I was wondering if it is remotely possible that one of your "boring" British expats is a fine fellow by the name of James Watt-Phillips?

Andries Marais

 

Hi MonteroMan, I'm afraid I don't know the gentleman as I live 50kms north of Bordeaux and it's a large area. Generally I don't mix with Brit expats abroad as often my experiences of them in the middle east where I worked were somewhat disappointing to put it mildly. In fact, I don't mix much with anyone regularly.............. I've been likened to the real 'Victor Meldrew' I believe. One Foot in the Grave - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Like you no doubt, although I converse online I actually prefer my own company and an element of solitude, hence living in the country 'far from the madding crowd'. I'm not anti social I'm just not very social and covet my own space and time. I don't particularly miss people and many I've met here in France are so frivolous which is even more irritating.

 

Indeed...

I believe you'll enjoy a safari through the Botswana lonely places like the Makgadigadi around Kubu Island, as well as the Okavango Delta

https://www.google.com/search?q=Okav...&bih=657&dpr=1

Each time I went there it was with one of my sons when they were quite young. I have no doubt those experiences have done much to instill in them the values of quietness and wideness and knowing that in this world where we were at the time, man is of very insignificant importance.