SHE LIVES!!!
Brand new Hitachi (not Hitachi type) installed (thank god for RockAuto having a warehouse somewhat close). Back up off the bump stops and drivable. I think it's been 6.5 weeks of not having her drivable (not just from the EAS; there were some other things I was waiting on in the beginning). The shop I bought the used unit from even refunded me and profusely apologized about the defective part.
I'm still getting an increase in gallery pressure and a fart (this will amuse me until the end of time. My truck farts. Hopefully someday I meet a woman with the same childish sense of humor) every 45 or so seconds. This worries me. I guess now I get to chase the leak...
Also just discovered I have a pretty severe sunroof drain tube leak. On the passenger side. Outstanding.

 

Good news! So if that is your only issue, I have to assume you do indeed have a leak. If the compressor runs a lot also then I out money on a strut. If not, reservoir. Either way you want to address the issues sooner than later of you will burn up your new compressor.

For drains, you prob know the routine. But fix both. When I did mine the ends were not available at all. Had to buy all new hoses and cut the ends off then use a push-connect union to join up. Now they sell just the ends. I think you *might* still cut the old ones off to remove em and the new ones maybe push-connect on? Dunno, dont need so did not look. But I do plan to buy some more for spares, they are less than $15/set. The dang hoses I bought and cut were like $75.

 

I managed to land a rock perfectly on the tank, and the air compressor which shoved it into the frame. the entire car vibrates whenever it turns on. When it does a quick release of air it sounds like a fart. On the longer releases such as when multiple people get out. It soughs like an aggressive sigh. My gf says its a sigh of relief after the torture of off-roading. I get a lot of odd looks when it does it, and I'm waiting for the day someone comes up to me to tell me my tires loosing air.

 

So it turns out, not only are the front and rear blocks not swappable, but neither are the inlet and RH feed hoses on the front block. How did I come to this discovery? Well, my coaches always said I learned best by doing.
I'm a bit amazed that it worked at all with the inlet hose going into an outlet.
I may still have a leak somewhere, but at least for now, it's not farting any more, because there isn't excess pressure building up in the gallery, because the hoses are in the right holes.
Quite the saga. Glad I didn't spend money on new valve blocks.
@DakotaTravler can't thank you enough for your help on this one. You probably me a lot of headache and money.

 

You are not the first or last to get the lines messed up. Good work figuring things out!